The Best Day of our Life!

I am intimidated thinking about how to put into words the roller coaster Larry, Reagan and I have been on these past 24 hours.  There were many highs and lows and very scary points where delivery got very serious and time was of the essence.  We were incredibly blessed with some of the most amazing, nurses, respiratory therapists, and physicians I could have asked for.  Their intensity and focus was impressive and I feel like God worked through them to truly protect our baby's life.

One thing I can say is this, your prayers gave Larry and I so much support and confidence that we would just not have had without them.  The Lord has been so faithful and has answered each and every request with a resounding YES!

Yesterday we had made the decision that we were going to induce.  I was showing signs of labor and the couple of days to let the lungs further develop was not going to make enough of a difference to risk infection.  So I was started on pitocin and the waiting began.  After about 3 hours, I hadn't progressed enough for how much pitocin I was getting and when they checked me they actually found out that I had a second sac that had not been broken. 

I think everyone sort of put the brakes on for a second and we all talked about the options of the risk of a "slow amniotic leak" vs the risk of inducing this sweet preemie.  I love that my physician took the step back to re-assess.  As my time in the medical field has shown me, its those that don't think about and re-evaluate what the plan is or have too much of an ego are the ones that get into trouble.

Because I was laboring on my own, and Reagan was looking so good on the monitors, we decided to proceed.   After my second amniotic bag was broken the contractions came on quickly and much more intense.  My nurses had me flip from side to side to help Reagan descend down as much as possible to help me dilate further.  It was when I was changing sides, that Reagan started getting into distress.  The nurses couldn't find a heartbeat and when they did it was really slow.  My nurses got really serious about helping Reagan get into a position to where she could descend through the birth canal without going into more distress.  Because she was so little, her head would not engage to help me further dilate so my nurses helped me dilate fully (thanking the Lord for my epidural at this point) and called Dr Garant to the delivery room.  For the first time in my adult life, Reagan and I were completely in the hands of others.  I had no knowledge to fall back on, no experience to draw from, and certainly no control over whether I'd hear Reagan cry when she entered the world.  I had to trust that they could bring Reagan into the world pink and screaming!

Growing up I never got how people idolized my father for taking care of them or their family member.  Being a surgeon was just his job, just like anyone else's, certainly not something to fawn all over.  Well after this experience I totally get it.  The Lord worked through these specific people to get Reagan here safely and I owe these people everything.  I have such a new and fresh love and appreciation for nurses and their serving heart.  What they do is incredible, they were with me in one of the most emotional, challenging, and at the same time glorious times of my life.  They invested a piece of themselves in my life for that time and I will be eternally in debt to them for getting Reagan here safely.

There was one time where emergency C section was brought up, but my nurse looked me in the eye and told me that I could do it, I could get her here, but I was going to have to do it quickly and she asked me if I was up to it.  At that point I could have lifted a car off the ground, of course I would do it.  So after a very intense 10 minutes, which was 9 minutes too long, my doctor exclaimed that she was here.

I will never be able to put into words what it was like to hear her cry for the first time.  Its what I had waited 7 months for, and what my whole world was hanging on.  The room went completely still and silent as Dr. Garant sucked out her mouth and nose and then I heard a sound that I will never forget, her meek, but intent, healthy cry.  Dr Garant flipped Reagan onto my chest and I immediately began crying tears of unbridled joy.  As I looked at that child I realized my whole world had changed, I was a mother to the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

The respiratory therapist and NICU doctors took Reagan pretty quickly and began working on her.  Larry stayed by her side and watched as they began assessing her breathing.  I could still hear her cry and the NICU doctor  leaned over and said she was going to be just fine.  They didn't need to intubate or give surfactant, just give her some oxygen.  My whole body relaxed which only made the tears come faster.  I kept saying over and over how happy I was.

The placed her on my chest and I got to get a good look at our beautiful baby girl.  I remember thinking how much I loved her instantly and how much I loved Larry and our little family.

Larry was absolutely incredible through all of this. He helped me deliver, kept me calm even when I was wide-eyed and anxious, and helped out the nurses.  He stayed with our sweet Reagan as she was whisked to the NICU and asked all the right questions that I was too delirious to ask or comprehend.  He was the perfect partner.  Looking at Larry I am so humbled by how much God loves me.  The fact that he would give me someone so incredible and such a perfect fit for me is such a testament to his love.

Its a day I'll never forget and a day I'll cherish forever.