We're home!

Well after 27 days in the NICU we heard the words that we have been waiting for since they day Reagan arrived..."You are going home in the morning."  As excited as we were, I immediately started worrying if it was too soon.  You become so dependent on the monitors to tell you that everything is ok, that your baby is breathing and all is well.  Fortunately they allow parents to "room in" the night before you go home.  They take the baby off all monitors but you still have nurses close by if you need anything or worry about how she's doing.  

Let me just say that neither Larry or I slept a wink.

We were a lot more confident after that night about her continuing to do well at home.  The previous few days she really seemed to turn the corner.  She was quickly emerging from what felt like a fragile preemie baby, into the stable, much more tolerant newborn infant...who just happens to be nearing her 1 month mark.  Her breathing was much more rhythmic and we hadn't seen her drop her heartrate in days.  When she would choke while feeding, instead of de-satting and dropping her heartrate to below 80 her vital signs would remain much more normal and she would rebound quicker.

All of these things were very reassuring, plus we had looked up epidemiology articles about the recurrance of apnea and bradycardia after 5 days without an episode....Yes Reagan, your parents are nerds, but well informed nerds.

Still, all rationale, facts and figures go completely out of the window when its your baby.  I think all new moms must go through this, but it hit especially hard for me, as I have witnessed first hand, on multiple occasions, my baby stop breathing and her heart drop to a level that would not sustain her.  So needless to say we were a little nervous.

But we all made it through the night with flying colors.

Going home was rather sureal.  I never got the chance to be "ready" for Reagan to come home.  I was extremely blessed by wonderful friends and family who got her room together, clothes and blankets washed, and baby gifts organized.   For ALL of you who have not yet received a thank you card, I'm so so sorry....hopefully you will get them soon!

I can't thank Dana, Sheila and Rachel enough for driving all the way from Houston to hang pictures and refinish my dresser for me.  Those are true friends right there.  Larry and I really got the benefit of seeing how many wonderful friends we have and how blessed by the body of Christ we are.  We had so many people that prayed for us, brought us food or giftcards to local restaurants, brought food to the nurses, and other odds and ends that we needed.  Your care for us not only blessed us, but was a ministry to the hospital staff as well.  We had several comments about "where did we go to church" and "I don't really do church, but that one I'd go to."  Such a blessing to see the many ways the Lord uses a situation for His glory!

I'm not really sure how Larry and I made it through that month.  Have you ever gone through something really tough in life, work, school, or maybe athletically that you just do what you have to do to make it through, and then when you look back, realize how truly difficult it was?  Well that's how we feel about this experience.  There is not a thing I would change though.  I loved being able to work to save my maternity leave and be able to help take care of Reagan around the clock, but it really wore me down.  Larry was staying at the house to take care of our dogs and actually get some sleep so that he could work.  I missed my partner.

Home has been the polar opposite experience.  Reagan and I haven't stopped snuggling since she's been home.   Our schedule is pleasantly flexible and Larry is here to help with feedings so I can sleep through one or two and nap.  Its amazing!

We love you so much Reagan!  Life is so much better with you in it!